Dear Friend,
It's the season to send greetings! I love the tradition of Christmas letters or cards because it's a fabulous way to say that I’m thinking of you.
I'm sorry to tell you that I become a patient again. The chemos and radiation therapy in spring 2014 didn't stop the expansion of cancer cells. They were found in the bones of my breast cavity and pelvic cavity. So I'm having targeted therapy now. However, during the break of therapies, I had good time with family and friends. We went to Mt. A-Li and Sun Moon Lake this summer. It’s kind of funny because they're the most famous tourist attractions in Taiwan, but I hadn't been there until now. Sometimes we spend lots of time to explore distant places but neglect the nearest. I'm happy I didn't miss their beauty in the end.
My last outing with Mum, three sisters, my brother-in-law, and friends this year
Waiting for the sunrise in Mt. Ali
Biking surrounding the Sun Moon Lake
My mother and sisters are good in health. I'm fortunate to have their care and love. My niece Jenny is applying for the graduate schools in USA. Though her current major is Library and Information Science, she expects to study Human Computer Interaction for the next two years. The teenagers in my church are brilliant. They had a short-term mission overseas again, and one of them volunteered for the vessel Logos Hope this summer. Now they are practicing to lead the worship by themselves. It's joyful to see their growth. And I just got a wonderful news from Daria, our dearest sister in Christ. She will get married in April. Hopefully I can take part in her wedding.
Visiting the vessel Logos Hope with the brothers and sisters in Christ
Christmas Eve is coming soon! I am delighted to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ together with you through the song 'Silent Night'. (Here is a Chinese version by a Taiwanese singer: http://youtu.be/i1jPxOvssIo.) May you and your family or beloved friends have a very happy Christmas and New Year!
先解釋一下這兩種人工血管的差異：
1. Port A人工血管：這是我第一次化療時安裝的人工血管，無論安裝或取出都需要上手術台局部麻醉，由醫師進行門診手術，位置多在鎖骨附近的皮膚下方，約一個10元硬幣大小，無外露，最長保留時間是5年。優點是維護容易，除了安裝側手臂不能360度大迴旋外，幾天後就能正常運動，每月上醫院用抗凝血劑沖洗一次即可。缺點是只能注射，不能抽血，且每次注射都要打蝴蝶針進去，有點痛，若無特殊狀況，醫師多建議保留5年。[更多資訊]
其實從一開始被診斷出罹患乳癌，親愛的屬靈長輩Sue就告訴我，接下來的日子情緒難免起起伏伏(up and down)，另一位長輩Ann則以自己的人生經驗鼓勵我活在當下(one day at a time)。現在的我雖然不知道未來將如何，情緒還是有起有落，但感謝主！我學著倚靠神去接受我不能改變的事，定睛在我能改變或能有所貢獻的地方，我深信神對我有最好的計畫，感謝讚美主！
In such a pleasant season, I feel shy of asking your prayer again. As I had my whole body bone scan last week, it showed a new shade of gray in the eleven rib of my right side in addition to the shade in my 6th rib scanned in July. Consequently, my doctor read my report yesterday and said there is a high possibility of cancer reoccurrence. My sisters and I felt shocked and frustrated by the news. My mum hasn't known this because she has had a serious backache since last week. My hospital arranged a further check-up of Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) on 28th Dec and we'll get the result on 31st Dec. Could you please keep my family and me in your prayer? Hope God shows His mercy and it's a false alarm in the end. Thank you!
2014/1/11 確定復發，雖然口裡說要倚靠主，但內心無比軟弱，情緒跌盪至低谷。
Dear friends, thank you for your long-term care and prayer. I got a bad news today. Unfortunately my breast cancer is back. The positive side is that my lymph and liver are clean though cancer cells have spread to my bones.
親愛的朋友，謝謝您長期以來的關懷與代禱。很遺憾得告訴您，我的癌症復發了。好消息是目前在淋巴和肝臟位置沒有看見，但因為在第11根肋骨靠近脊椎的位置抽出的骨骼切片確定有癌細胞，所以醫生也不能確定，上次沒有殲滅的癌細胞餘孽究竟還留下禍根在什麼地方。
'll have medical treatment in Koo Foundation Sun Yat-Sen Cancer Hospital again. This time, our goal is to manage the cancer rather than to cure it. In addition to proper nutrition, exercise, and sleep, I'll take chemo medicine orally from now on and may add radiotherapy soon.
我會再次在和信醫院進行治療。只不過，這次治療的目標是控制癌症，而非治癒癌症。除了適當的飲食、運動、睡眠外，我將從今天開始口服化療藥物，大概不久後會同時進行放射線治療。（體貼的醫生讓我農曆年前先口服溫諾平化療藥物，至少新年期間不用面對掉髮副作用的感傷。但一想到化療期間就得強迫自己大吃大喝，保持白血球數，就提醒我務必要趕緊來照全家福，好記住我瘦的樣子。）
My family and I almost overcame the shock and fear that came with my diagnosis. We have confidence to face the possible challenges when coping with my cancer reoccurrence. I believe God is with us as “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” And He has promised me with long life since I got my first diagnosis.
因為從12/9至今陸續有骨骼掃描、X光、核磁共振、骨骼切片手術、超音波等檢查，我和家人對於這個噩耗，大致上已經做好心理準備，也有信心面對接下來邊走邊看的療程。我深知主耶穌與我們同在，因為「他是我的避難所，是我的山寨，是我的神，是我所倚靠的。」而且，在我第一次被檢查出癌症時，祂便透過先知的口告訴我有長壽的恩賜。
We deeply appreciate your love and prayer. Hope you and your family are in good health and doing well in the new year.
謝謝您的愛、友誼與禱告，願您與家人新的一年身體健康、事事如意！
"The greatest gift you can give someone is your TIME. Because when you give your time, you're giving a portion of your life that you will never get back."
也願你從我的例子看見，請珍惜每一天與你愛的家人、朋友所相處的時間。
God hasn't promised skies always blue, joy without sorrow, and peace without pain; but He has promised strength for the day, unfailing sympathy, and undying love.
「他對我說：我的恩典夠你用的，因為我的能力是在人的軟弱上顯得完全。」（哥林多後書12:9a） 2014/7/18-20 參加Tobi牧師「天父的心」特會，有兩段話特別打動我：
1. 當我們不停鑒察自己，常常反而會陷入迷惑。但當我們定睛仰望祂時，我們就知道Who I am。
2. Healing is not the end of itself. Don't look for the healing but look for the healer. （意譯：內在醫治是一條很漫長的路，所以不只要尋求醫治，而是要尋求那醫治者。）
Dear friend,
How do you enjoy your summer? Last month, all members in my family had a reunion for my mum's 77th birthday. Attached the memorable photo, including my mum, her four daughters, my brother-in-law, my niece and my nephew. Moreover, in addition to exercise walking nearby, I still go hiking to relax my body and mind. The beauty and prosperity of nature is absolutely one of the most marvelous gifts from God.
Yep, you might have guessed that the treatment for my cancer reoccurrence was finished. My check-up report is good. Although cancer cells are still in my bones, their condition is quite stable. So I don't need to have further treatment for the next 6 months except for a monthly injection to protect my bones. Thank God for leading me to escape from the darkest valley.
This week, the youth in my church is having an overseas short-term mission again. We had intensive training and practice for about two months. It's joyful to see their hearts touched by God's words, their progress in knowledge, and the growing intimacy among the group. Though I won't go with them this year, I'm very blessed to have these lovely children. Hallelujah!
In my previous email, I mentioned the Dutch missionary Koert who founded my current church was diagnosed with rectal cancer. Thanks for your kind prayer. I'm happy to tell you that the radiotherapy and chemos before his surgery reduced his tumor hugely. Its size became one-tenth. Now he has recovered well. Sadly, my friend Jessica passed away on 4th June morning. Her family said she was taken up to the heaven without much pain. We believe she has rested in God's arm and enjoyed her new life.
Finally, there are many disasters in the world recently. Please kindly pray for the sufferers of aviation accidents (Taiwan's TramsAsia Flight GE222 & Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17/MH370), deadly Ebola virus in West Africa, Israel–Gaza conflict, the earthquake in Yunnan, China, and the explosions caused by gas leaking from underground pipelines in Kaohsiung, Taiwan. Thank you!
a. 魚或肉：每天吃Koert的手掌大小2-3份，之前我都努力吃到3份，結果發胖速度驚人，而且肚子不消化，每天都很難睡，這次我有調整，就是先吃個2份魚肉，看下週白血球數有沒有超過3000，只有有超過，就表示有吃夠，不用吃到過多。至於肉的話，滷牛腱、照燒雞腿、煎排骨肉、粉蒸肉、煎虱目魚、台灣鯛魚片加地瓜葉湯、烤鯖魚或秋刀魚、鱸魚湯等都行（鱸魚湯是手術後最佳修補湯品）；
b. 蛋是每天一顆，最簡單就是白水煮蛋（我是早上和包子一起用電鍋蒸），偶爾會換成荷包蛋（蛋黃要熟透）或炒蛋（比如毛豆+香菇丁+炒蛋，毛豆也有蛋白質），或直接放在中午或晚上的湯裡；
c. 奶：每天喝牛奶或豆漿（黃豆漿或黑豆漿），可以換著吃。但因為有些報告寫說牛奶不好，護士朋友也建議不要喝國內大廠牌的牛奶，我現在只喝非基因改造的豆漿，我姊也會自己打給我喝（前一晚泡半碗非基因改造的黃豆或黃豆黑豆各半，隔天早上蒸熟，放入果汁機內加水打成豆漿，連豆渣都一起喝進去）；
d. 豆：我最常吃滷豆干，如果沒有空滷，會吃現成的「義美古早傳統豆乾--五香滷汁口味」，一包8片，吃以前蒸一下就好了，偶爾會吃涼拌豆干絲、或加點醬油膏的涼拌豆腐，但都有先用滾水燙過。還有就是煮豆腐味增湯、蕃茄豆腐蛋花湯、滷百頁豆腐之類的。
Dear friend,
Happy Easter! I just came back from my church. And I'd like to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ with you too.
Thank you for your warm greetings. My family and I are good. This month I'm capable to do more housework and exercise walking despite of the chemos. I think the reoccurrence of cancer could be part of God’s plan about me as I can't stop thinking of the words "In order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:7-9)"
Limited to the energy, I didn't visit friends as often as usual. But it’s lovely to see Ai-I again in my church. It’s the first time we saw each other after the good year in Lancaster. What a long time! Last month, my best friend from senior high school age gave birth to her first baby. He's adorable. It's absolutely an adventure to hold a 20-day-old little boy (I hadn't held a baby less than 6 months old even my niece and nephew.), but it's fantastic to see how life continues, so does love. In addition, I met up two students who studied in Hualien Syue Tian Primary School, where I went twice for voluntary holidays. The lovely siblings came to Taipei with their parents for selling the organic sweet potatoes from their field. The younger brother grew up so quickly, and the elder sister became an excellent helper of their parents. It’s wonderful to see the family's financial condition has been improved. May God bless them!
The spring in Taiwan is getting warmer. Sometimes it's over-warm. For example, after my short walk yesterday, it's 29 degrees centigrade at 5:40 pm. However, many beautiful flowers are blooming because of the temperature. A sweet surprise from the teenagers in my church is that they gave me a bunch of flower made of paper. They used the cards to encourage me, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. (Proverbs 17:22)” How thoughtful they are!
I do thank God for giving me a chance to see you again before my 2nd medical treatment. Though we're living far away from each other, my thoughts are also often with you. I wish you’re in good health and happiness!
Dear friend,
Thank you for your kind thought. I am sorry that my previous emails were written in a state of trepidation. I was very anxious when the doctor said he could only manage my cancer reoccurrence rather than to cure it. But thank God! A young sister in our youth fellowship asked me why. It reminded me that "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible". I regained joy and peace. Praise the Lord!
Now I am doing well with my medical treatment, both physically and psychologically. (Yes, I'm still capable to do some English-Chinese translation for the sponsored children of the World Vision Taiwan.) Fortunately, the reoccurrence of my breast cancer is only a small spot in my rib, so my doctor is willing to give me aggressive treatment. I had 13 radiation treatments. (It is tiring but finally passed.) I have been injected with a new drug to protect my bone every month and taken chemo medicines twice every 3 weeks. The course of my chemo is 18 weeks. We expect to finish it in May. Then we will have a check-up to see if the cancer cells have been disappeared.
There is an episode encouraging me a lot. At the beginning, my doctor planned to inject another chemo drug into my body, in addition to the oral chemo medicine. As it caused hair loss and a small operation to insert a port in my shoulder, my doctor postponed it due to the Chinese New Year. Two weeks ago, he decided to cancel it because no one knew if the chemo drug was useful to me. It's awesome! I don't need to have more suffering. I guess he might be also pleased with my current state.
During the past a few months, I got some sad news. Kent, a friend from my graduate school, passed away in early December because of lung cancer. I went to see him for several times before visiting you in England, so I knew how unwilling he was to leave his wife and two children. We were all surprised that the period from his diagnosis to his funeral was only 4 months, particularly because he didn't smoke and went camping frequently with his family. But we are glad that his wife and children have begun to rebuild their lives, supported by their family and friends.
My grandpa also passed away before the Christmas. He was 97 years old and baptized in the nursing home. He was the only Christian among my family members, but we never had chance to talk about our faith because he had almost lost his memory. I believe he has been in Heaven. He might be quite happy to see that his seven children and many grandchildren got together again from the north and the south due to his funeral.
In addition, the founder of my current church Koert was diagnosed with rectum cancer last month. He and his wife Gea are the missionaries from the Netherlands, dedicating nearly 50 years to the people in Taiwan and in China. Now Koert has treatment in the same hospital of mine. I know there must be many friends praying for them. Koert will get better and better.
And Jessica, who studied in MA TEFL at Lancaster University from 2006 to 2007, has suffered from pancreas cancer since 2011. The cancer transferred to her liver in the next year. I didn't clearly know it until recently. She is looking for different treatment to comfort her state. As she and all her family are faithful Christians, hope God gives them strength and confidence. (Jessica and her husband got married at the end of 2013, and they know each other for 15 years. They are a very special couple, realizing the meaning of the wedding vow. Bless the couple!)
Facing the death and illness, I think I'll cherish my life even more and focus on the most important things. Spring is coming, at least in Taiwan. I miss your British garden. Hope you have a nice spring too.
