Carol's note 17/07/09

Dear friend,

How are you? I'm always thinking of you and thankful for your kind prayer. Hope you are enjoying your summer vacation and having a wonderful time. The summer in Taiwan is very hot. The temperature is about 31°C when I go out for walking at a sport ground in the evening. Needless to say, how hot the midday is! It becomes a challenge to continue walking if no wind is blowing, and the short hiking in the green trees becomes my most expectation. (One game is to disclose the squirrels which are jumping between wax apple trees and oil tung trees.)

My forth chemotherapy went well at the end of June. Now I'm waiting for the surgery. I had a close examination this Monday. The tumors seemed to be smaller under the ultrasonic test. It takes time for further reports, so I won't know whether the cancer has transferred or not until the end of July. My personal consultant told me that I could take a breath before the end of August because the recovery from the surgery wasn't painful. It's like a holiday before the next chemo. However, I got a cold and went to the hospital emergency room yesterday because of a fever. I start to wonder if I can have the 'holiday'.

When I was first diagnosed with cancer at the Lancaster Royal Infirmary, the doctor told me that the illness was curable, but my life would be very different. I didn't realise it, but it's clearer now. You know, there is no confirmed conclusion about the causes of cancer. Without medical examination, I can't 'feel' how active the cancer cells or the white blood cells are. No one can garantee that the cancer cells are totally cleaned after the treatment. The only thing we know is that the patients must have a healthy life, including bodies and minds. I reviewed my previous days and tried to figure out 'bugs'. In addition to little exercise, I think the worst part is my full schedule. I'm used to plan and enrich every day but forget that "for the foolishness of God is wiser than man' wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength. (1 Corinthians 1:25)" God gives me a chance (or say 'forces me') to live slowly. Maybe one year later, I'll be thankful for the feeling of helplessness during the treatment.

Love, Carol