夜深人靜 裝滿愉悅、新奇、平靜的小櫃紛紛闔上收攏
只剩下那只盛裝眼淚的抽屜被推擠出來
幸好 我週邊有許多天使
天使拍動他的翅膀 珍珠散落下來
落進那只小抽屜 淚水盈濺出來
然後 我的多寶格出現了一道小小的彩虹
**謝謝你們，讓我知道接下來可以做些什麼**
【天使語錄】
1. 不是做每件事都要有意義
2. 得憂鬱症的人不會想要出門踏青、主動接觸人群
3. 自我檢視很好，但檢視完的東西要記得丟掉
2011年3月10日
2011年2月28日
好書大家讀
最近生活充實，上週日去信友堂主日，和Irene有很美的分享，晚上參加Friends International同工Sue來台替英國基督徒留學生辦的返鄉座談會。週二和Vivian以及中中登面天山和向天池，從清天宮走到二子坪，總共走了6.8公里，享受到上週第一個好天氣。週四和Shelly相約去芝山綠園做志工面談，下午去士林官邸賞玫瑰展，並無預期地排隊進入官邸正房免費參觀，晚上去了世界展望會上志工學堂課程。至於在家的生活也很愜意，看了好些從圖書館和教會借回來的書。比如春節假期看了兩本翻拍成電影的好書，一是2000年拍成《女孩第一名》的「芳心何處」，描述17歲的單親媽媽在美國知名連鎖零售店Walmart產子，並如何透過陌生人的幫助走出她自己的人生。我還沒有機會看過這部電影，不過一直對當年娜塔莉波曼（電影《黑天鵝》女主角）挺著大肚子、抱著一棵樹站在街頭的電影劇照印象深刻，或許接下來會把兩部電影都借來看，看編劇如何將書中的文字改編為流暢的劇情，也看娜塔莉波曼10年來的成長。
另一本是李安導演正在拍的「少年Pi的奇幻漂流」，描述一個家裡經營動物園的印度少年，在全家移民到加拿大的旅程中遭遇船難，如何隻身在救生艇上與一頭孟加拉虎共生的故事。除了人與虎之間鬥智的文字張力外，書中也觸及許多似是而非但很有趣的話題，像是野生動物有了動物園的庇護，才不會想要去荒野挨餓受凍且面對不可知的危險；上帝差派祂的獨生子耶穌來到世上洗淨人類的罪，像是爸爸對兒子說，獅子連續三天咬死的園裡的動物，唯一要讓獅子悔過的解決之道是把你拿去餵獅子。然而對我而言，全書印象最深的是少年Pi那戒慎恐懼、但追求和老虎一起活下去的求生意志，因為一個有危險的朋友勝過一個人孤孤單單，在茫茫大海上等待不知道哪一天才會出現的救生船，因為孤單…絕對是求生意志的大敵。
提到電影小說，我的fever似乎還沒結束。上週六Hsia約我去看「永遠的他鄉－高更畫展」後，跑去借了2003年拍成同名電影「戴著珍珠耳環的少女」原著小說來看，很佩服作者可以從維梅爾的一張畫，說了一個這麼好的愛情故事，讓我不知不覺地了解梅維爾追求亮點的繪畫技法，還有17世紀荷蘭畫商－畫家－貧民生活的時空背景。不過，連續看了數本電影原著小說，再回頭看像是《鋼琴師的情人》這類電影劇本小說，就覺得還是先有書、再拍電影的原著小說比較好看，因為用文字描寫被浪花拍打的鋼琴或混合著情慾的琴音時，影片所能呈現的比文字豐富許多。但又好像也有例外？像是去年排成同名電影的法國小說「優雅的刺蝟」，電影語言就比較簡潔俐落，添加了小女孩繪製繪本的橋段，也有讓人眼睛為之一亮的效果。看來，我不太適合寫書評，各位就當我是在murmur（喃喃自語）好了。談到最近看的書，我還想分享「築愛後山－陳在惠牧師的生命日記」。我是一口氣看完這本書的，看到都哭了，因為1999年陳牧師被檢查出末期肝癌，同時面臨妻子腦血管病變、喪失記憶的意外，卻從不放棄幫助貧窮者(the poor)的服事與對上帝的信心。以前在英國的bible study中曾討論過the poor指的不僅是經濟弱勢者，也指被歧視的女人（社會地位貧窮）、稅吏（職業地位貧窮），沒看這本書之前，我不知道家中小女孩被賣作雛妓的悲哀，這個網址連結收錄其中一些讓我非常感動的內容，有興趣的朋友可以點閱。http://www.oursweb.net/prove/index_detail.asp?id=393
2011年2月18日
Carol's Update 17/02/11
Dear friends,
Do you know it's Chinese New Year recently? Today is the Lantern Festival, the last day of the Chinese New Year celebration. Traditionally today, we try to solve riddles on lanterns and eat tangyuen, a kind of glutinous rice ball. But nowadays, we focus on family reunion instead of those activities. If any of you has Chinese friends nearby, hope you also enjoy the atmosphere of reunion.
Shared an exciting news. In addition to my hair is longer (pls see the photo), I completed all the therapies on Tuesday. Hooray! What a spiritual release after 22 months! On 1st March, I will have a surgery to remove my port, a small medical appliance that is installed beneath the skin for chemo injection. After that, I'm only requested for check-up every 3 months. Then the gap will be longer and longer. Though the doctors and nurses have been my friends, I'm delighted that I don't have to visit them so often.
And there is a small testimony about my port surgery. Forty-five days ago, my doctor strongly suggested me to keep the port for the next 2 years in case of (cancer) reoccurrence. To maintain its usefulness, I had to return the hospital once a month for an injection, in order to melt the impurities in the port. I asked the brothers and sisters in my small group at my current church to pray for this because I believe Jesus Christ already cured me. Then my port was stuck in the next chemo. The nurse found my port had got stuck for 4 times, so she said I should be able to remove the port a.s.a.p. The conclusion was reversed so quickly, and the following decisions went so smoothly. I think it's the response from Jesus to our prayers. Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!
May God be with you too.
With my warmest greetings to all of you and your family,
Carol
Do you know it's Chinese New Year recently? Today is the Lantern Festival, the last day of the Chinese New Year celebration. Traditionally today, we try to solve riddles on lanterns and eat tangyuen, a kind of glutinous rice ball. But nowadays, we focus on family reunion instead of those activities. If any of you has Chinese friends nearby, hope you also enjoy the atmosphere of reunion.
Shared an exciting news. In addition to my hair is longer (pls see the photo), I completed all the therapies on Tuesday. Hooray! What a spiritual release after 22 months! On 1st March, I will have a surgery to remove my port, a small medical appliance that is installed beneath the skin for chemo injection. After that, I'm only requested for check-up every 3 months. Then the gap will be longer and longer. Though the doctors and nurses have been my friends, I'm delighted that I don't have to visit them so often.
And there is a small testimony about my port surgery. Forty-five days ago, my doctor strongly suggested me to keep the port for the next 2 years in case of (cancer) reoccurrence. To maintain its usefulness, I had to return the hospital once a month for an injection, in order to melt the impurities in the port. I asked the brothers and sisters in my small group at my current church to pray for this because I believe Jesus Christ already cured me. Then my port was stuck in the next chemo. The nurse found my port had got stuck for 4 times, so she said I should be able to remove the port a.s.a.p. The conclusion was reversed so quickly, and the following decisions went so smoothly. I think it's the response from Jesus to our prayers. Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!May God be with you too.
With my warmest greetings to all of you and your family,
Carol
2011年2月15日
小療畢業, 進入追蹤
殷殷期盼了好久, 漫長的治療終於結束. 是因為感冒頭腦昏昏沉沉? 還是因為花了太多時間想像這一天? 做完最後一次標靶治療, 真的來到畢業的今天, 卻只有一種不真實感, 沒有太多的興奮, 像是煙花燃盡時, 留剩的嘶嘶聲消散在風裡... 唯一想到的是, 以後再有男生吹噓自己當兵的日子, 我可以告訴他我也有熬了一年10個月的經驗 (2009/4/11~2011/2/15).
明天, 要去醫院商量拿掉人工血管的時間, 幫助我經歷29次化療 (4次白金/歐洲紫杉醇+4次小紅莓+4次亞洲紫杉醇+17次賀癌平) 的夥伴就要功成身退了. 感謝信義小組弟兄姊妹的代禱, 在倒數第3次標靶治療時, 還建議我至少保留2年的人工血管, 在最後2次標靶治療時, 逆轉為我的主治醫師和護理人員都完全同意我拿掉它. 我相信這是主耶穌垂聽我禱告不會復發的回應, 因為這是之後不會再用到的裝備.
哈利路亞! 無病無痛的日子, 真好! 之後就是5月回診大檢了.
明天, 要去醫院商量拿掉人工血管的時間, 幫助我經歷29次化療 (4次白金/歐洲紫杉醇+4次小紅莓+4次亞洲紫杉醇+17次賀癌平) 的夥伴就要功成身退了. 感謝信義小組弟兄姊妹的代禱, 在倒數第3次標靶治療時, 還建議我至少保留2年的人工血管, 在最後2次標靶治療時, 逆轉為我的主治醫師和護理人員都完全同意我拿掉它. 我相信這是主耶穌垂聽我禱告不會復發的回應, 因為這是之後不會再用到的裝備.哈利路亞! 無病無痛的日子, 真好! 之後就是5月回診大檢了.
2011年2月4日
春節環島旅行
今年春節等阿琳學測結束後, 全家8口人/2輛車/5天4夜環島旅行, 除了跑不掉的車程外, 徹底實現慢活精神, 原本計畫中的鯉魚潭划獨木舟/立川漁場摸蜆仔/杉原海洋生態公園餵魚等行程"通通都沒去", 連照片都不多. 但沿途欣賞到花東花海, 在知本泡溫泉, 終於去了姊夫老家附近的草山月世界, 還在台中美術館附近晃悠, 並順道拜訪許多親戚, 過了個輕鬆的年. 回到濕冷的台北, 很是想念那裡的湛藍天空/暖暖陽光/和泥土的芳香...
春節環島旅行
A family trip around the island in 2011 Spring Festival
Location: Taiwan
一晃眼已經是大年初二了, 希望大家也都過了個如意又充實的年! Happy Chinese New Year!
春節環島旅行A family trip around the island in 2011 Spring Festival
Location: Taiwan
一晃眼已經是大年初二了, 希望大家也都過了個如意又充實的年! Happy Chinese New Year!
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